Toffy Toorak's Just The Spot For A Tree Change

The Age

Monday May 19, 2008

Edited today by Suzanne Carbone

LIFE rolls along in Toorak, the genteel enclave where ladies who lunch parade with George Hamilton suntans and wind-resistant blonde hairdos. But not all is well in a Toorak Village arcade after a vandal slaughtered a tree in a planter box. The irate tree-hater smashed the stakes, sustaining an injury in the process, and left a trail of blood on the paving. What's strange about this case of "planter-box rage" is that the vandal showed disdain for the tree by scattering the foliage, but he/she has a greenie bent because the broken stakes were placed near recycling bins. It sounds like a quirky one for Murder She Wrote's Jessica Fletcher because, as the village's motto (see below) says, "It's all here" - cafes, restaurants, boutiques and intrigue. A trader who did not want to be identified told Diary he believed the position of the planter box in the centre of the walkway, as opposed to near a shop window, had irked someone. Diary was unaware of planter-box politics but when the box is placed in the centre of a walkway, pedestrians have to veer to the left of it, or the right of it, meaning some shops get extra passing trade. The trader was jubilant that karma prevailed: "The tree got its revenge because the person was injured." Diary has one explanation for the strange turn of events. The village is in the throes of the Festival of Sculpture, with creations scattered in windows and on the footpath, so maybe some wacky artist thought they'd butcher the tree and call it an installation. Or maybe not.

It's in concrete

AS THE headline on the Government's media release said on Friday, the "First concrete pour at the Royal Children's Hospital" was a momentous occasion. Premier John Brumby and Health Minister Daniel Andrews paraded at the site of the new building in their hard hats and fluoro vests, and the media trailed along. First pour, hey? Not according to one builder. "No, no," he said when a curious cat inquired. "We've done several of these pours." About five, in fact. We suppose a media release headed "Sixth concrete pour" lacks a certain "wow" factor.

Living to work

THERE doesn't seem to be much joy dealing with a call centre or working for one. Pity the wage slaves who were ordered into Telstra's Burwood chook pen on Saturday because they dared fall ill and take a sickie. An email advised last week: "Hi guys, as you have all taken two or more days of leave this month already, I have scheduled you in to work this Saturday from 10-3 to recover some of the hours you have not given." The good news is: they're allowed to go to the toot but the breaks are monitored and considered "unproductive time". Yes, staff can be far more productive manning the phones and keeping people on hold.

It's a cracker

ONE of the more interesting places that intrepid reporter George Negus has conducted an interview is in a sauna. For a Dateline piece about how a council in the Norwegian town of Narvik, 120 kilometres above the Arctic Circle, lost billions in the subprime crisis, Negus stripped off to chat to some perspiring locals. Amid talk of financial woes, the camera is hogged by a mature-aged backside strolling past, but Negus has assured colleagues the cheeks aren't his. The program is repeated on SBS at 2.30pm, so decide for yourself.

Nugget of information

WELL done to the Colonel Sanders outlet in Wantirna for encouraging KFC-ers to reduce their plastic footprint. A sign informs customers they can help the environment "buy" not taking plastic bags with their chook and chips. Sorry, Colonel, but that's one mixed message.

Friendly foes

THERE is no love lost between Channels Seven and Nine in the ratings war, but that doesn't mean their employees also have the daggers out. Seven reporter Michael Felgate is dating Nine's Jacqueline Freegard but, surprisingly, they didn't lock eyes on the road but at a bar. The duo mingled with other Nine identities at the Guillaume bar at Crown last week for the Chandon Supper Club drinkies, an event that assists Camp Quality. Diary sends a special cheerio to Nine honcho Jeff Browne, who's recovering from hip surgery. We thought he was hip enough already, but there you go.

Hungry eyes

THE sweet voice of 3AW food reviewer Honey Galore is heard no more now that her alter ego Georgina Damm has moved to Syd-Vegas, but there is a new Friday foodie and she goes by the name Lazy Susan. But who's behind that sultry voice? It's Cindy Sargon, a voice-over princess who knows her fettuccine from her tagliatelle. Well, she should. She runs a business with partner Michael Coade called Alligator Pasta. But they don't reveal their sauces.

And take that!

IT'S that time of year when the Fitzroy Nursery pokes a pollie to plug its sale and the lucky winner this time around is Karate Kev (below). How's this for a sales pitch: "For fiscally conservative working families. No alcopops. No strippers. Just lots of bargains, a bit of earwax and some A-grade motherhood statements." And if you can't find what you're looking for, you might get a "Sorry".

© 2008 The Age

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